The Ortho review went well. I have been sent away to darken their door no longer... unless something goes wrong.

Due to an interesting concatenation of circumstances, involving bureaucratic decision-making par excellence, my review was done without benefit of x-rays.

I was eyeballed by a highly-educated orthopaedic specialist, who said, "Well that looks excellent, doesn't it? I think you're good to go. I'm not sure why they bothered to have you back here." She did a bit of cursory squeezing, we chatted for a minute or two and that was that.

If I wasn't convinced my bone is fine, I might have agitated for the x-ray. But the Waiting Room was full of broken people, and I had only been waiting 30 minutes, and I didn't want to go to the end of the queue.

Update on Arm-ey Goodness. I am now weightlifting - a whole 2kg. I can even return to Body Pump exercise classes, as long as I'm gentle with myself and don't do it more than twice (maybe 3 times) per week!! After being unfit for this long, I would probably die trying to do that. She is very concerned about my poor strength, even though I explained that I was told not to lift anything.

I have added another 5' of range in every direction - elbow rotation and flexion, and shoulder raises to the front and side. Once she saw how my range of movement has improved, she decided I was ok, and became a lot more friendly and encouraging. My wrist is normal again, and I gather this is better than expected.

On the negative side, after having a slightly raised right shoulder for a couple of months, I now have a slightly dropped right shoulder. She gave me some manipulation, but no massage (poot). We hope my shoulders will recover to be normal again sometime.

The new physio is not so brutal as Brutus, and not so sweet and nice as Physio 2. She wants me to go to physio once per week for a while, but they're so busy it will be 12 days until I go back.

8 months and 10 days since I broke my arm. Hubby asked me if it still thrills me to shower alone: you betcha baby.

Carry 5kg of shopping, but only for two blocks.

Do up my bra 9 times out of 10.

Scratch the top of my left shoulder with my right hand.

Scrub pots that aren't very dirty - this is an improvement.

Hang light washing, but only one load per day.

Carry cups and plates in either - or both hands.

Lean on my arm, provided I am on a squishy surface like the sofa or a mattress.

Rest my face on my right hand - as long as my neck is doing all the weight bearing.

The temple that is my body is a most complex and confusing place. So I have updates on various situations under various cuts. Enjoy or ignore.

( Homeopathic treatment & a bug )

( Arm Status & Brutus the physio )

( tachycardia & palpitations )

Apart from that I'm exceptionally well, psychologically. I know, my shrink says so. The latest migraine storm appears to have come to a halt, and I'm looking forward to the next couple of weeks as I sink my teeth into some work. The three day weekend is helping too.

Here's how the arm is doing:
This is from the front.
This is from the back - I have reversed the image, oops. looks better this way.

Clearly still growing bone, but the Orthos are happy this time. I can now begin to move weights of up to 1kg while wearing my functional brace, and do limited passive stretching without the brace. I can also support the weight of my arm long enough to - drum roll please - shower!!!!! I can also begin to cut up food with my right hand. At lunch I had zero success at cutting a chicken sandwich, so it may require me to grow a few muscles back.

So far this week I have added doing up shoelaces to my repertoire. This morning I washed my own hair without getting the brace straps wet. Woo hoo!

Brace will remain on for the next two months. If I keep healing at the current rate, they will probably remove it in mid-June. Which will make it 6 months in all. I'm so glad I didn't know that while lying in the road on 5th December.

A quick & miscellaneous post.

I've found a new band that I love: Beirut. I'm listening to their album 'Goolag Orkestra' a lot at the moment. Think mariachi-meets-gypsy-meets-middleastern. Their regular line up includes tambourine, clarinet, accordian, violin, guitar, drums, mandolin & trumpet.

Wasn't today a beautiful day?! (Fellow Melbournians will know what I'm talking about.)

Did a tidy of my porch & threw away the dead potplants killed by the drought. Replaced them with various lavenders bought a fortnight ago. Hubby did most of the actual potting, a task designed for two hands. I swept & garnished & it's looking good. Am considering clove pinks, a rose, some sweetpeas & freesias for remaining spaces. By which you can tell I'm an old-fashioned cow when it comes to the garden.

Tidied some out-of-control paperwork too, so I'm almost feeling ready to go back-to-school tomorrow. Except not, really.

Arm is becoming more flexible. I have twice dried dishes. I did some one-handed mopping today also. Bit sore tonight, but that's to be expected. Right hand most useful when balancing stuff. Can't carry with it, but its amazing what you can lift with your left hand provided you have your right on the item to be lifted.

Had a migraine last night & thought, "oh God, here we go". But in fact it passed off by lunchtime & there was very little aura. Mersyndol Forte meant I slept well too. Keep your fingers crossed for me that this is a one-off migraine and not the beginning of a cycle.

I have just had a bath. I am clean all over. Before you suspect me of being a wally with water, I will point out that I have saved many litres of water with the whole strip-washing rather than showering. I went & had my hair washed this morning too. Last week got super-busy & it had been four days since my last hair-washing. I had resorted to wearing my beret at all times.

My investment property was auctioned today - not a single bid even though it was priced to sell. Several interested parties, so it will hopefully sell in the coming week or so. As there is really nothing I can do about it, I am happy to let events unfold. If you're interested, the Reserve is a modest $495k.

Couple of days ago, I and a couple of colleagues scored a gig performing at an upmarket event attended by the Premier. He's clearly not a musical man, as he paid us no compliments. Some of the guests thanked us, although most of them screamed happily at one another over the wineglasses. I find providing wallpaper music quite enjoyable. Much nicer than being a focus. Those who wanted to hear, drifted near, the rest vaguly glanced in our direction with an approving eye - or rather, the majority failed to notice us at all. I discovered my inner tambourinist too, which was amusing as I didn't know I had one.

The Wedding of SIL2 passed off without much aggro last Sunday. The bride was lovely, the groom was euphoric & they're very much in luuuurve. Currently holidaying in QLD - nice for some.

Monday was devoted to collapsing & recovery. Tuesday evening was Tapas & Sangria, where I put face to yet another online acquaintence. Then late rehearsal for Thurs gig. Wed nesday I waited for removalists who didn't come, but that was ok as I got a lot of work done. Thursday was a daylong meeting regarding a potential new business venture for my copious spare time. I count it successful as I walked away with only one To Do item.

Friday was physio. She was only moderately pleased with my work on stretching. She is keen to get my elbow working ASAP. I have too much scar tissue in there. Became a bit cross-eyed when she massaged me - to such good effect that I'd rather Hubby didn't massage even today. i have to perservere and get used to pain, unless its pain up near the fracture site. Friday night I was so sore that even Mersyndol Forte only took the edge off.

Still not allowed to lift anything with R arm - so no dishes or housework, but I am writing again & it is WONDERFUL.

Off up the country tomorrow for a day or two. All the best to you & yours.

Yes folks, the moment finally arrived, I spent most of Thursday in at St Vs having my elbow lock & forearm brace removed. Then I had to go back on Friday for physiotherapy, which will be weekly for the time being - except not this week because of Easter.

I haven't been posting this past week because I came down with a viral gastro "thing" that has left me 5kg lighter, and still rather delicate about rich, spicy or fatty food. I'll spare you the recitation of my manifold woes.

On this, the fourth day of relative freedom, I can open my arm to around 35' and can close it up to almost 100' - that's from having it locked at 90' for 14 weeks. I have to gently rotate the wrist and do gently shoulder spirals every hour. My wrist movement is good & I have a good prognosis as I follow orders well. I am rediscovering pain, as my long suffering soft tissues get back into the groove.

The heat is making my forearm swell, and my brain go on the fritz. At least my forearm is swelling in the open air - it is HEAPS cooler with only half an arm encased. Roll on cool change.

The St V's folk gave me some extra straps so I will be able to shower more frequently. Its not as good as a no-contraption shower, but it is much safer. My bone is still very young and is not completely solid yet, so the brace is still holding me together. But within a week to ten days I will have weaned myself off the sling and will be carting my own arm around. Which seems a bit odd but it's the way it works.

Oh yes, after being told I have big bones by a doctor last time, my new physio says I have rather fine & delicate bones. It sounds nicer, but robs me of my excuse for carrying some extra kilos.

This new freedom of my forearm means I am once again able to wear sleeves on both arms provided they're fairly loose. And button my blouses closed across my chest. So I am decent again. I even have hopes of squeezing into the fab jacket for The Wedding on Sunday next.

Last night Hubby made me cry. With joy. I had a shower without the contraption.

No, it hasn't been removed by my orthos, but I have been removing it daily for a 15 min rest/wash most days. It's fine as long as I support the weight of my forearm. My skin enjoys a breather, and the healing has reached the point where my muscles like the stimulation of me scrubbing or lightly scratching too.

But last night I was feeling grotty and disgusting - handbasin washes are all very well, but after 3 months... Then I had a brainwave: asked Hubby, "how risky do you think it would be if I stood under the shower for a few minutes?" We both contemplated the thought with some trepidation, and (in my case) with rising excitement. The risky moments were getting off the couch without jiggling - yayy for great leg muscles after so much practice - and actually stepping in/out of the shower, as I have a shower over the deep 1930s bath configurations.

I held my nearly-not-broken arm against my side with my left arm. Hubby held my waist as I stepped carefully into the bath.

It was while I was standing in the bathroom, buck nekkid watching him get the water to a good temperature that I burst into tears, muttering "thank you! thank you! omg a shower! thank you!" until the sobs began to jiggle my arm so I had to get myself under control.

The water cascading over my poor arm was one of the most intense & perfect physical experiences of my life.

And did I mention feeling properlyclean for the first time since a swim a month ago. I have tried a shower in the last 3 months, but showering with the contraption on is nothing like as good, and once the straps are wet it requires sitting around for an hour or more till they dry - whivh gets tiring and you're invariably getting desperate for the loo or a sleep just because you can't move.

Being dried off while holding tightly to your arm gets a bit exciting, but oh it was worth it.

Its one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me, 'cause I could tell Hubby would really prefer to keep me trussed up & safe. I told him it was worth at least 10 bunches of flowers in relative terms.

Today i am pretty well. No headache, back only minimally sore. I quite shocked Hubby, who is feeling overtired, by offering to go and buy him some basic Panadol for his incipient headache. While I was at the shop I got some food for dinner. Since then I've cooked it and tucked a blanket around him when he fell asleep (so cute).

I realise that in an odd way, it would be easier for those around me if I was incapacitated to a given value of incapacity! Being bedridden yesterday morning, somewhat upright but not real cluey in the afternoon, then working & coming up with a couple of financial reports and some artwork today, then cooking & looking after HIM, and tomorrow - who knows? That's confusing for both of us.

Some days I wonder if I can keep working at all, but 40 seems a little young to retire. Others I do 14 hour days and I'm relatively fine - can't keep it up but then I am 40.

I imagine our nearest and dearest get confused whether to follow us around and offer to help us to the loo, or get out of the way because we're busy solving the problems of the world. I know it's confusing to me: and invariably the day you're sort of hoping your partner will treat youlike spun glass will be the day he's buggered and is assuming you're ok today, just because you were four hours ago when you last saw him.

And throughout I look fine. Rather a lot of people have gone out of their way to tell me I look wonderful which is gratifying but not always useful.

( In which I answer a question posed by hometime )

Ah, what the doctors don't know/think to tell you. The immobility of my right arm has changed my gait. So now that my sore arm is no longer keeping me awake, my sore back is.

For the past couple of nights I have managed only 90 min snatches before my back spasmed and woke me up. Since Friday I've had 3 massages, which help but not for long enough. I'm back on the Panadeine.

My gluteus medius & hip adductor are both involved, and I've developed an exciting collection of new trigger points.

The good news in all this is that once my arm comes out of the contraption, the back pain should go away.

This morning I am a very worn down moocow. I had a mild migraine over the weekend and I'm still in hangover mode with mild visual disturbance. I'm fatigued and brain foggy.

Enough. I'll stop whining now.

Yesterday found me in the local YMCA pool to do a Deep Water Running class. Hubby "I hate water sports because I have no natural bouyancy" decided to come too in case I needed help. Lucky I didn't.

I have such good natural bouyancy that I don't need to run to keep my head out of the water when I'm wearing one of the floatie belts they give you. So saddlebag thighs and a big butt are good for something other than surviving a minor famine.

The class is quite brutal. I couldn't do the arm work, as one is broken and the other arm was required to hold the broken one down to prevent jiggling. (My neck & shoulder really enjoyed NOT supporting the weight of my arm & contraption for a while.) My legs got such a work out that I had trouble walking for a minute when I got out. Got my heart rate up to 180 for the sprints. This being the only cardio work I've done for 7 weeks. For the rest of the day, stairs hurt a bit.

Hubby's legs were affected the same way - possibly even more than me, although he is much fitter over all. He said hell let me know today if he is ever going back. I suspect his pain is not helped by the brutal Body Pump class he did on Friday.

After swimming, I had to have the contraption changed. This involves sitting around contraptionless while the sling & straps dry. It is very nice to be utterly unsmelly for a while. Having been immersed in water for an hour, with a wash before and after, I was all minty-fresh.

By then the day was getting hot, so trundled off to airconditioned cinema to see Juno. It's great, I highly recommend it. Hubby was initially very dubious - a film about teen pregnancy?! He enjoyed it. We even liked the hokey soundtrack - not enough to rush out & buy it, but it works very well in the film.

I have today done 20 mins of cycling, and raised my first honest sweat in 6 weeks - sweating 'cause it's *extremely* hot doesn't count.

My legs felt like puppies who hear the word "walk" when I got on the bike. They got all pleasantly stretched and blood circulating-ey. I had to keep increasing the level - ended on 4 'cause I want to be cautious at first. But I suspect level 5 or 6 is likely later this week.

Prior to actually doing some exercise, I fell slightly in love with the gym instructor. The actual moment was when, after a couple of, "Hey, you could do....er...probably nots", he said, "You know it's easy for me to say surely you could, isn't it? But actually, it's going to be up to you, and maybe your physio, to tell us what you can do." Ooer, insight is just so attractive.

He decided there's no point doing a formal plan because stationary bike, leg press & deep water running are all I will be able to do for the forseeable future. And maybe a wobble board if hubby is willing to hold onto me to make sure I don't fall.

I don't have an endorfin high, but I do feel better!

Hubby is very amused that it took a broken arm to finally get me back into the gym.

Yesterday I rejoined the gym at Hubby's insistence. I seem to have the choice of either the bikes, the leg press machine, or deep water running. At 8am, I have my medical consultation - never had one of those before...

This all came up when I booked a massage.

Once I explained my do's & don'ts, the masseuse was more than happy to work on my back & legs, then she did a quick lymphatic drainage. Most of the massage was done with the table back at 40' and me sit-lying on my left side. But it was done... Mmmmm.....

While massaging just above my knee, she complimented me on having developed a 'teardrop' (if I heard correctly). It's a muscle that keen cyclists and athletes get, you get it from the first 30' of a squat. She tells me not many 'normal' people have one! I certainly didn't have it the last time she massaged me.

Apparently my core will be 'fabulous' by the time I get out of the contraption. During footy season she works for one of the major clubs, so she's very up on all sports medecine.

On a less delightful note, I seem to be detoxing slightly. Mildly grumbly digestive system & mild headache. I thought it was not enough sleep, and it could be, but the masseuse recently had abdominal surgery and she said the same thing happened when she came off the pain meds.

Now that I can get at the skin on my arm a bit, I bought some foaming teatree cleanser & a facial brush from The Body Shop. The brush is incredibly soft, and I am looking foreward to exfoliating the next time I replace the contraption.

I feel rather embarrassed about my wobbly of a couple of days ago. The ortho clinic doctor took one look at my X-ray and said, "oh yes, that's coming along nicely". She then pointed out microscopic white spots that are the beginings of bone, and a slight shadow, which is the soft callus tissue. So apparently my humerus is now in approximately one piece. Also it's very straight (considering). Phew!!

The contraption will remain on for either 6 weeks or three months. I wasn't entirely clear (in retrospect) whether three months includes the past 6 weeks or is in addition to them.

I go back to fracture clinic in one month and if I am very lucky, my Valentine's Day present will be the removal of the forearm section. But not if there's any risk of rebreaking it, 'cause if I do, you go back to square one and this time it would need pinning (ie surgery).

From now on, I can change the contraption more frequently if I like, even daily, as the join is not likely to be disrupted as long as I support the forearm. We bought two more of the CoolMax (TM) 'socks" from the O&P Dept. Hubby feels willing to do a solo contraption change if he isn't going to break me. I feel grateful I won't be so rank during the horrible hot weather.

Once the contraption comes off, they will ultrasound the upper arm to find out the extent of the muscle & tendon damage. Because of the nature of the break - nearly straight across, they feel there must have been enormous forces involved(!). Muscles and, to a lesser extent, tendons heal on their own often, but I may have to have some surgery before I start physio. And a year after that, I'll hardly be able to tell the difference between my left & right arm in a functional sense.

After bone surgery was threatened, I can't feel so bad about a bit of minor tendon reattaching that may not even be necessary.

The Ortho doctor admitted that she knew just how long this was likely to take the very first day she saw me, but didn't really lay it out too clearly because it would have been just too depressing. I was inclined to take umbrage, but she's probably right. Telling someone in a lot of pain, "this will take 4 months immobilisation and then a year's physio" would probably break their spirit. As Hubby said today, "You've managed 6 weeks incapacitated and in bad pain. A further six weeks without pain now that you're used to the contraption will be a comparative doddle". Or it will if I can just get some sleep.

It helps that the weather has been cool the past two days.

Had my x-ray yesterday, so I can head off to ortho clinic tomorrow. I think I've managed maybe a millimetre of bone growth in the last month. On the plus side, the pain is mostly minimal.

I was just gutted when I saw the x-rays because I was convinced that I'd joined up the pieces. Big thanks to S&G who provided much-needed succour yesterday. You guys are great.

On returning home I got out the last set of x-rays for comparison. There is some improvement, particularly to the cracking down the shaft length. In a way it's good that I was so despondent at first, but had a while to get used to the idea that I hadn't healed at all - it means that I was in the frame of mind to appreciate & see what progress has been made. If I'd had the old x-rays with me when the new ones were done, I think I would not have noticed any improvement. The way things fell out I was in a more cheerful frame of mind by bedtime.

It's a funny old thing... St V's x-ray clinic is working again, but the clinic clerk told me that I'd save heaps of time if I just had another x-ray privately. So it was my desire to save myself about four hours that made me willing to spend the $80-odd. In fact it's been even more useful! it's allowed me a space to get over my disappointment, and have a number of questions ready. Otherwise I'd have spent the whole of my consult gutted & trying not to cry - and orthos, like most specialists, absolutely hate it when you cry!

Hubby & I spent most of yesterday searching our consciences: was I sleeping in the wrong position? doing too much? doing too little? eating insufficient calcium? changing the contraption too much? not enough? (us? neurotic? what gives you that idea?) The questions I'll ask tomorrow will all be along the lines of, "how can I optimize my recovery?" Oh yes, and how long is a piece of string?

It's possible they'll want to do surgery after all. Or they may be perfectly happy with my rate of progress. How fast does bone grow anyway? At the current rate of 1mm per month, that's about 8 more months.

...which is the number of hours I spent last night flat on my back & asleep.

The longest continuous sleep I've had since the 4th December.

Ahhhhhhhh!

The most annoying thing about my current dis-abled state is the dependence. I am finding it very wearing to have to enrol someone in order to undertake all but the simplest task - and even some of them! The fact that Hubby and my friends are going out of their way to be responsive and proactive doesn't make this as much easier as it ought.

Today the most exciting thing I managed was packing up the Christmas Tree. I can tell you it's tricky to get the lights unwound with only one hand and my left foot. In case you ever find this skill relevant, you hold the top of the 2ft tree, and twirl it with your left hand like a drop spindle, if any of the light cord gets tangled, you balance carefully on your right leg, and use your left foot to hook the recalcitrant cord out of the branches. Beaming with self satisfaction, you then must wait for your partner to come along and wind up the lights & put them away because that is beyond your capacities.

In a short while I shall bake a cake - it's a flourless orange and almond cake which can be made in the mixmaster. But it's still cooking. Achievement! Self-actualization!

Last night I went to see Phantom of the Opera as my Christmas present from my bro'. Hubby chose to get himself tix for Spamalot. Dinner before the shows was obtained from Bistro Vite. A good time was had by all. Anthony Warlow! Sigh! What a voice. And he can act too. All the cast were good, actually.

Bit jiggered today as a result. Stayed in bed till 10.30am, then managed to prise myself upright for a coffee. Sat in the Library while hubby went down to work. Now home. Happy to be resting quietly again. Had a bad night, painwise, for no reason that I can identify. My working hypothesis is that growing bones is painful.

I know my brain is getting ready for the year to come because the random thoughts that cross my mind are becoming more focussed & relevant. So while I was putting my clothes away I suddenly had a thought about a couple of new points to include in our Studio Policy at work. At another point, browsing the shelves at the library, I thought that the first thing I need to do is visualise my success measures - which are not purely financial - before I do another thing. When I thought that I got that sense of settledness in my tummy that tells you you're on a good thing there.

It feels like it will work better if I don't try to chase & pin down these butterflies of the mind. Like physical butterflies they feel fragile... It is good to feel a little creativity returning to my lumpen mind. Usually at this time of year I am jumping out of my skin with projects & ideas. Not so much...

I did comment to hubby that I am very clear that just having lots of students, or lots of associate teachers isn't very rewarding for me. The more rewarding part is having music available to people, in a format that makes it possible for people to access it. So short courses, long couses, adult courses, children's courses, tasters, lectures, themed workshops & play schools...

A future that doesn't blindly include "more of the same" in short!

The third day of my forty-first year dawned cool & cloudy - and a bloody good thing too.

Returned to work today - briefly. You know, open the windows & air the office, transcribe 10+ phone messages, delete all the email invitations to extend various portions of one's anatomy and/or provide the details of one's bank, open the mail, etc. One of my teachers has very kindly agreed to work in the office while the regular office staff are away. She is a brave woman.

Received another birthday present in the mail today - this one from artistgirl & securityguy: a beautiful multicoloured glass pendant on a soft leather thong. Sounds 'primitive' but the effect is more sophisticated city modern. Thank You!!

Had a last get together with hometime & JB, who are off back north today. You will be missed.

The twelve days of Christmas are now over, and like most of the rest of you, I'm a bit wrecked! But it has been fun... It adds to the chaos that most of our immediate family and their partners, and several friends all have birthdays in Dec/Jan.

( Sleeping with the Contraption...a whinge )

Yesterday morning, Hubby & DrWack agreed to remove the contraption and change the liner. They did an excellent job, and we were done in less than an hour. Five hands are much better than 3 for this task. Thanks to both of them for their gentleness & courage. The hot weather had had its inevitable effect; luckily DrWack had mild sinus & no sense of smell. It was so wonderful to have a nice clean armpit for a few hours. I have high hopes of being able to change the liner more often, now that it doesn't hurt as much. Next step is to go swimming. Mmmm...swimming!